VAPID VAMPIRIC VOYAGE

 

MOVIE
The Last Voyage of the Demeter
Director André Øvredal
Reviewer Ray Chan

It’s always difficult to build any element of surprise into a movie which viewers already know the outcome of.
    And so it is with The Last Voyage of the Demeter, extrapolated from the “captain’s log” chapter of Bram Stoker’s Dracula novel, which dwells on the ill-fated journey of the schooner conveying the vampire’s coffin amongst its cargo of stock and spices.
    Those familiar with the source material already know that the ending is going to be bleak. And even if they didn’t, the name of the production surely gives it away. The challenge then is to draw out the intrigue in what is pretty much a fait-accom-pic.
    Set in the late 19th century, the oceanic passage is the final one for the ageing Captain Eliot before his retirement, who has assembled a ragtag crew for the trip, including a Black doctor (Clemens) whose presence is the cause of discomfit among some of the prejudiced deckhands.
    After leaving Bulgaria for England, they discover an ailing stowaway (Anna) who Clemens insists upon nursing back to health against the crew’s wishes. She not only poses a threat to the crew’s rations, but, more importantly, seems to be too aware of another trespasser on board.
    Dracula is alive, of course – as much as an undead creature can be – and craving sustenance, stealthily picks off the crew one by one during the dark of night, when he is protected from the deadly rays of the sun.
    As the seafarers get increasingly spooked by the events, the gory attacks intensify, and eventually it becomes clear that a malevolent presence is on board.
    Director André Øvredal crafts some intense frights from the film’s bleak and claustrophobic surroundings, with the dark and creaky vessel lending itself to a few effective jump scares.
    But some horror scenes do strike the viewer in the face, particularly when Dracula’s victims, tainted by chiropteran blood, start to burn in the glare of the day. And no-one is safe, not even helpless women and children.
    The antagonist is never clearly shown in the early scenes, reflecting the mystery behind the attacks. The audience only gets to see the Nosferatu-esque form at the same time as the surviving crew members do when they confront the creature.
    In this respect, it’s a bit of a disappointment. The bat-like visage does little to strike any sort of fear in an audience well-used to and weary of such CGI creations. As a shapechanger, the Count could easily have taken on the appearance of his victims, adding to the effectiveness of his subterfuge as well as the overall suspense of the film.
    Both Clement and Anna play important roles in the story, serving as anchors for the narrative to evolve, but ultimately, Last Voyage of the Demeter doesn’t yield much character development nor thematic complexity beyond the minimal expository requirements as it builds toward its reveal.
    The film’s conclusion hints at possible future adventures. But once again, if you've read the book, you know where this is going.

 

#lastvoyageofthedemeter #universalpicsau

BOTS AND THE BEASTS

 

MOVIE
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
Director Steven Caple Jr
Reviewer Ray Chan

THIS reviewer has been critical of director Michael Bay in the past, whose movie trademark seems to be wanton destruction of cities and vehicles in scenes that drag on interminably.
   His handling of the Transformers franchise kicked off no differently, with the various instalments  seemingly packed with plenty of pandemonium and little else.
   So it was with much relief when Bumblebee, directed by Travis Knight, came along with a completely different style of storytelling — heartfelt, sweet and funny, and lacking in awful racial stereotypes and people screaming and sweating while explosions substituted for storytelling.
   Bumblebee was an exceptional offering, and brought hope back to fans of these weird, shapeshifting robot alien protagonists.
   The trend continues with Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, this time directed by Steven Caple, Jr, although Bay still lingers around as producer.
   Once again, the film isn’t a direct sequel as much as it’s simply a continuation, another adventure wherein the Transformers, stranded on Earth, ally themselves with a small group of humans in an effort to save the galaxy.
   A massive planet-eating being known as Unicron seeks the mysterious Transwarp Key which will open portals through which he can travel the universe and destroy everything in his path.
   He has a set of evil robot minions called Terrorcons, led by the nefarious Scourge (Peter Dinklage), who have been scouring the stars to find the cosmic contraption.
   They eventually discover it, and of course it’s in the USA. Upon finding out about the artifact, Optimus Prime and his cohorts Bumblebee (still mute and using random collections of recorded voices to communicate), Mirage and Arcee seek to use the tool to return to their home planet, Cybertron.
   Prime and his gang form an uneasy alliance with two humans – Noah and Elena – and also encounter another race of Transformers known as Maximals, robots who can transform into giant animals, hence the title of the movie.
   They are led by giant gorilla Optimus Primal (*groan*), voiced by Ron Perlman, and his lieutenant Airazor, a giant falcon (voiced by Michelle Yeoh, who continues to be featured in movies everywhere all at once).
   Ludicrous as the premise might be, Caple makes it work, crafting an energetic and charming adventure film, devoid of the cheap laughs that Bay glorified, instead going for genuinely funny lines that aren’t at anyone’s expense, with a likable, capable cast that feels like real people, not just stock characters with no personality.
   The action is chaotic and wild, but serves the story well as the film travels the world – including a trip to picturesque Peru – and uses actual cultural touchstones to explain some of its sillier plot points.
   Primal, like Prime, share solemn intonations about trust and belief and helping friends. It’s laid on far thicker than it needs to be, yet the constant noble proclamations are what make some fans come back again and again to watch the series.
   Rise of the Beasts runs just over an hour and a half: a comfortable viewing time, especially when compared to many other pictures competing on the silver screen … or what passes for one in this modern age. But don’t be too quick to leave your cinema seat: stay for the end credits for perhaps the most unexpected highlight, when the production hints at the introduction of another line of characters manufactured by the Hasbro toy and game conglomerate.

#transformersriseofthebeasts @universalpicsau

 

COOL RUNNINGS

 

MOVIE
The Flash
Director Andrés Muschietti
Reviewer Ray Chan

THE butterfly effect is literally a tale as old as time. Even the smallest change in history will lead to much larger and different consequences in the future.

    And in this movie, that’s where the troubles start for Barry Allen, who, as the Flash and a newly-minted member of the Justice League, has recently discovered he can travel back in time by moving faster than the speed of light.

    Barry epiphanises that he can use this new skill to help acquit his father of wrongful murder charges against his wife. The incident can be traced back to one can of tomatoes – if his mother hadn’t forgotten to buy them earlier that fateful day, his father would never have gone out to the grocery store, an intruder wouldn't have thought the house was empty, and his mother would never have been killed.

    Barry duly voyages to the past, planting the tomatoes in his mother's shopping cart so that different circumstances would prevail, thereby saving her life.

    The result is chaos, as the whole universe then starts to unravel.

    Barry ends up in a reality where he loses his powers, meets up with a doppelganger who he has to train to take up the Flash mantle, and finds out that there are no other metahumans around.

    There is a Batman though, although different to one that Barry knows. This version is the 1989 movie hero portrayed by Michael Keaton, who, now retired, is enticed to team up with the two Allens to help battle the arrival of the Kryptonian tyrant General Zod.

    Indeed, Keaton’s much-publicised return is an admirable and well-conceived callback for the fanboys and baby boomers who flocked to the film when it premiered more than three decades ago … a joyful resurrection embellished by the sight of the sleek Batmobile and the iconic Batwing silhouetted against the moon, all to the original Danny Elfman theme.

    With no Superman around in this world, a new hero emerges in the form of Kara Zor-El, the civilian name of Supergirl (although she is not referred to as such here). As she is also Kryptonian, she soaks in the super powers imbued by the Earth’s sun, and together with the Flashes, attempt to contain Zod and his armies.

    The interaction between the two Allens as they team up gives the picture a human, relatable edge missing from so many super-hero offerings in recent times, in particular Marvel misses like The Eternals and Ant-Man: Quantumania, where watchers are dragged through interminable inter-galactic or outworldly sequences.

    Miller gives his characters the perfect jittery, hyper-energetic quality expected from someone who views people in his surroundings moving at a snail’s space. And he’s not let down by the cast members, all of whom pull their weight with distinction.

    The flashpoint of the movie (pun intended) occurs when the heroes fail to bring down Zod despite a valiant effort, resulting in the sacrifice of one of them. Barry surmises he can once again go back in time again and again to try and reach a nexus where the villain is defeated.

    It’s at this juncture that viewers of a certain age, this reviewer included, will discover the production’s most riveting moment: trapped inside a multiverse, Barry witnesses variant versions of Earth created due to his meddling with time, some with heroes, some without. In a stroke of genius, to represent these divergent individuals, director Andrés Muschietti calls in a string of the different versions of various DC characters from throughout the years, from across stage, screen and television.

    Identifying the cameos is just half the fun: discovering some unexpected appearances is another source of joy, which will guarantee a return screening for many.

#universal #flashmovie #dccomics

FASHION STATEMENT

 

MOVIE
Mrs Harris Goes To Paris
Director Anthony Fabian
Reviewer Ray Chan

Here’s a sleeper that first hit the cinemas late last year and is now doing the rounds on Netflix, enabling those who missed it an opportunity to watch surely one of the most heartwarming productions of the past 12 months.
    Oscar nominee Lesley Manville stars as Ada Harris, a working class cleaning woman in the WWII era earning her keep maintaining the affluent abodes of London while her husband serves a tour of duty abroad.
    Her life is thrown a curve when she hears news of her husband’s death in action, whereupon she decides the time is right to cast caution to the wind and embark on a fresh challenge. She scrimps and saves from her tight budget to pursue her newfound dream of travelling to Paris to purchase a couture Christian Dior gown.
    Symbolically for her, the dress will usher in a new chapter, a reminder to the world that she still has a life to be lived.
    But as expected, nothing goes too smoothly at first. Once in the French capital, our everyday heroine is confronted with unexpected barriers of class and presumed taste, both in her interactions with the French upper crust and within the Dior fashion house.
    Yet her journey is one that brings out the kindness and goodness of almost everyone she encounters, each of them moved by her earnest enthusiasm and indefatigably warm heart.
    Filmmaker Anthony Fabian delivers a thoroughly agreeable endeavour that benefits from the superb efforts of Manville (looking every bit a cross between Betty White and Meryl Streep) and her various co-stars, as the performers’ uniformly charismatic work goes a long way towards perpetuating the movie’s compulsively watchable atmosphere – with the lead herself turning in a completely captivating and sympathetic performance that effectively anchors the proceedings from start to finish.
    And the Dior wardrobe on show is pretty spectacular. Models shapely and slender with velvet vestments, silken smocks, enchanting ensembles, and a range of elegant accoutrements jaunt up and down the catwalk, pulling in the viewer as much as a flabbergasted Ada sitting in the audience.
    Although the picture is admittedly a little padded-out and overlong in certain stretches, the midsection’s emphasis on affable, crowd-pleasing interludes goes a long way towards rendering such concerns moot – with the satisfying third act ensuring that the whole thing concludes on as positive and entertaining a note as one could’ve envisioned.
    With nary a word raised in anger throughout, the end result is a first-class piece of work that boasts plenty of attributes that are hard to dislike, creating a pleasant diversion from the plethora of films that seem to thrive on violence, cussing and assorted bits of sex and drugs and rock’n’roll.
    The book the movie is based on actually birthed a series that found Ada going to New York, Moscow, and even Parliament. The foundation is already there for Manville to have her own franchise.
    And after this joyous, not-as-syrupy-as-it-appears first trip, where Mrs. Harris goes, we must follow.

#mrsharrisgoestoparis

FAMILY AT THE FORE OF FANTASY

 

MOVIE
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Director John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein
Review Ray Chan

You don’t really need to know the rules of the role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons to grasp the concept of the movie.
    The tabletop battleplay franchise pioneered so many sword-and-sorcery imitators that it’s almost commonplace now for fantasy scenarios to feature dashing young warriors or Amazon-like women scurrying about finding treasure or rescuing prisoners in medieaval kingdoms.
    Honor Among Thieves hones in on Edgin (Chris Pine), a bard turned to a life of crime after the murder of his wife Zia by the Red Wizards of Thay, the most feared faction in the Realms, forcing him to raise his daughter Kira with the help of his friend, a barbarian named Holga (Michelle Rodriguez).
    After being captured while on a heist, Edgin and Holga spend a couple of years in prison, enabling their traitorous former crony Forge (Hugh Grant, playing the same sort of addled character he always does) to bring up Kira, whom he has developed an affection for.
    Finally escaping, the pair join forces with a sorcerer with confidence issues named Simon, a druid tiefling named Doric, and a paladin named Xenk Yendar as they aim to reunite with Kira.
    They also want to retrieve the Tablet of Resurrection, an artifact that can bring Edgin’s wife back to life.
    Forge, meanwhile, has allied with a powerful and vicious Red Wizard named Sofina, a role which actress Daisy Head hams up with as much malevolence as she can muster.
    With battles taking place amid castles, dragons and panoramic vistas, Honor Among Thieves tells its story with all the anticipated visual delights replete with comfortable tropes and structures expected of the feudal setting.
    The movie succeeds because it doesn't take itself too seriously, unlike, say, World of Warcraft. And it does seem to shine when it’s at its most ridiculously unpredictable and downright silly. Whether deliberate or spontaneous, and granted a couple of bits of witty dialogue, Pine exudes a comedic charm that is reminiscent of Chris Hemsworth’s Thor, while perhaps not quite hitting the mark.
    What conveys the movie more is a solid, uplifting conclusion. While the party seems outmatched by Sofina’s abilities, they ultimately defeat her by working as a familial team and using their strengths, enabling the underdogs to pull off an unlikely victory, albeit at the expense of Holga, who suffers a fatal stab wound.
    With the tablet now acquired by Edgin, he is faced with making a difficult choice: use it to resurrect Zia and give Kira back her mother, or revive Holga, who had been a surrogate maternal presence as Kira grew up.

 

#dungeonsanddragons  #universal

GRIN AND BEAR IT

 

MOVIE
Cocaine Bear
Director Elizabeth Banks
Review Ray Chan

Just when you thought every conceivable genre has been covered in the movie industry – from comedy to horror, from romance to drama, from westerns to space shenanigans – comes along a film like Cocaine Bear, so refreshingly different that it could indeed have created a new classification of its own. Attenborough adventures on acid, perhaps.
    The titular character is a 220kg (impressively CGI-ed) American black bear that accidentally snorts cocaine, and ends up pummeling his paws onto every unexpecting human who it encounters, creating an aisle of evisceration and entrails.
    This sublimely ridiculous romp is based (very loosely) on a true event in which a bear was found dead in the forest after sniffing in too much of the happy dust.
    The film opens with a drug smuggler liberally tossing bricks of crack from the side of his plane over Georgia’s Chattahoochee National Forest. After losing his footing and knocking himself unconscious, he plummets to his death in the suburbs of Tennessee.
    As fate would have it, much of the coke is unintentionally discovered and ingested by the bear, prompting it on a murderous rampage while on the hunt for her next fix of the white stuff. 
    Caught in the carnivore’s sights are a whole lot of varied individuals: protective mother Sari, who’s ventured into the woods to find her school truant daughter, Dee Dee and her best friend Henry; Daveed and Eddie, who are on a mission to find the missing cocaine for Eddie’s drug kingpin father, Syd (played by the late Ray Liotta); detective Bob, who is investigating the runner’s mysterious death; and no-nonsense park ranger Liz and her wildlife inspector crush Peter (Jesse Tyler Ferguson). 
    And that’s just for starters, with an array of other characters accidentally becoming victims of the bruin’s addled divergent demeanour, but who end up damaged, dissected or dead through one mishap after another. Indeed, prepare yourself for some of the most wildly imaginative and utterly ludicrous murders seen this year, especially one sublime sequence involving a speeding ambulance.
    But they’re just collateral to add to the body count. It’s evident that director Elizabeth Banks wants the audience to connect with the core group of characters she’s focusing on and it’s clear whose fate she wants viewers to give a damn about.
    At the end of the day, you’re here to see a gargantuan grizzly high on the white stuff rip up a dozen people with fitful abandon. Banks fully embraces the utter absurdity of the premise with fiendish fervour, doling out equal lashings of irreverent humour and gory violence, and creating a black comedy in the purest sense. 
    Cocaine Bear is entertaining with a capital E, absurd with a capital A, and farcical with a capital F. And, dammit with a capital D, if it isn’t one of the most deliciously enjoyable experiences inside a cinema this year.

#universal #cocainebear

FAT SUIT FAILS TO HARPOON FRASER

 

MOVIE
The Whale
Director Darren Aronofsky
Review Ray Chan

The Whale adapts a play by Samuel D. Hunter, about an excessively obese man coming to grips with his life after leaving his wife and daughter for a homosexual relationship, with the story taking place exclusively inside his home.
    In essence, the camera is stuck in front of actor Brendan Fraser, who is encased in bogus blubber that makes him appear to weigh near 300 kilograms, and we're even treated to scenes of him in various stages of undress. But while such a scenario works well on the stage, it feels almost claustrophobic in a movie setting. 
    Audiences will feel themselves sympathising with the character Charlie’s physical and psychological plight, while maintaining a morbid fascination for the mountain of a man who struggles to carry out simple activities such as getting up from the couch while still feasting on candy bars and chicken, well aware of the dangers posed to his health.
    A college writing professor, Charlie teaches his students online from behind the safety of a black square, too ashamed to reveal his true voluminous visage. His favourite novel is Moby Dick, the Herman Melville book also referred to as The Whale, an obvious metaphor for his external appearance.
    He describes the elusive mammal as he stands up, shirtless, and lumbers across the living room and toward the bedroom with a walker. "He thinks his life will be better if he can just kill this whale, but in reality, it won't help him at all. This book made me think about my own life," he says, slapping viewers head-on with symbolism as subtle as a piledriver.
    The movie unfolds over the course of a week, during which Charlie receives a series of visits  – from his friend and informal caretaker Liz, who also happens to be the sister of his former male lover Alan, who committed suicide from shame of the gay tryst; from Thomas, a young missionary who wants to rescue his soul; from his estranged teenage daughter Ellie, who is angry at her father’s desertion; and embittered ex-wife Mary.
    The most interesting exchange of dialogue takes place with Thomas, who insists that Charlie’s sins can be forgiven. Telling him that "I'm not interested in being saved", Charlie berates him for his unwanted proselytising, pointing out that there was nothing wrong with the true love that he and Alan shared.
    Ultimately, the film challenges us in important ways: when we see Charlie, do we look at the man or the body?
    There’s little doubt the movie ultimately works because of Fraser.
    While critics may argue that any character actor worth his salt could just as easily pull off the role, Fraser’s facial expressions, puppy eyes and welcoming and resonant voice give Charlie gravitas and strength as well as a certain effervescence, unencumbered by the weighty prosthetics and make-up.

#thewhale

DOLLED UP FOR DEATH

 

MOVIE
M3GAN
Director Gerard Johnstone
Review Ray Chan

After a car accident claims the lives of her parents, a young girl named Cady is looked after by her aunt Gemma, an accomplished robotics builder. 
    She takes on the guardianship role reluctantly, as it comes at a time when she is under duress with work at toy company Funki.
    Gemma needs to convince her boss that her follow-up to the first interactive toy she invented, Purrpetual Petz, is going to be one of the most advanced ever put on the market. But it’s not perfected yet and some glitches need to be addressed. 
    Cady’s arrival disrupts Gemma’s focus, speeding up the prototype process and avoiding thorough testing. The final product, resembling a life-like girl, is named M3GAN (short for Model 3 Generative Android), and is duly activated and ready to be Cady’s best friend. 
    Swiftly, it becomes clear that M3GAN is ready to go to any lengths to protect Cady from emotional or physical harm, even murder and violence. And there are plenty of offenders who pose potential threats. What transpires is a delightfully unhinged cautionary tale about technology taking the lead in parenting.
    From the onset, it’s clear that Cady’s well-being is in jeopardy because the people who are supposed to care for her – Gemma, her laboratory peers and her employer – are frankly more interested in profiteering from the mechanical mannequin rather than the orphan’s welfare. 
    Taking the time to actually listen and help Cady is initially seen as a burden, so Gemma uses M3GAN as a defacto babysitter and companion, a task it carries out with aplomb, even singing a Sia song as a lullaby.
    The campiness that shores up the movie is intentional and genuinely funny. Sad to say, audiences these days find more mirth in grisly scenes than revulsion.
    Aside from the script, there are several other factors that make the story work. 
    There are committed performances from everyone in the cast, especially Amie Donald, the young dancer behind M3GAN’s physical performance, which includes a maniacal trot on all fours and a pirouette routine that has become a viral sensation. The title character herself is a combination of Donald’s performance, animatronics, and puppeteering, as well as a vocal performance from Jenna Davis.
    M3GAN could have been a tad scarier, but it’s a fun ride nonetheless. Come for the promise of a killer android with Lady Penelope eyes, and stay for a fun time at the movies, complete with a musical number of two.
    Forget Chucky or Annabelle. There's a new horror doll in town and she's so much more fun to watch. By the end, you might wish M3GAN was your new bestie too.

#M3gan @UniversalpicsAU

BLOWING IT OUT OF THE WATER

 

MOVIE
Avatar: The Way of Water (3-D)
Director James Cameron
Review Ray Chan

It’s been so long since the first instalment that viewers could be forgiven for having trouble remembering anything about the parables on planetoid Pandora.
    So, a quick recap. In the year 2154, the celestial satellite – inhabited by blue-skinned, sapient humanoids that live in harmony with nature – is coveted by Earthlings whose own planet’s resources have been depleted.
    To explore Pandora’s box, genetically-matched human scientists use Na'vi-human hybrids called "avatars". Paraplegic marine Jake Scully (Sam Worthington) is one such recruit sent on a scouting mission but ends up driving his own race of invaders away, ultimately settling down and living happily as a Na’vi with his native wife and family. 
    A new threat duly arrives, as Pandora is threatened once again when the Earthmen return, with a much bigger army. Through Sully’s family (which includes an irritating human boy named Spider), we get a sense of the stakes and why the inhabitants revere a whale-like creature named the tulkan. 
    To keep out of harm’s way, they find shelter with the Metkayina reef people, whose physical features have adapted to their water wonderlands, and who are also leery of the “sky people”.
    Clocking in at three hours and 12 minutes in full, the story takes too long to get going, sure to cause impatient viewers to twitch in their seats. When it does, we realise it’s basically an extension of the first, with its overt themes of familial love and loss, along with impassioned indictments of military colonialism and climate destruction.
    But then we get the payoff. Where the movie really comes into its own is the ambitious animation used throughout, reaching almost preposterously realistic dimensions hitherto unseen. 
    The major part of the film takes place in the wet, with director Cameron using it as an excuse to show off the latest in visual effects wizardry as he satisfies his well-documented penchant for aquatic adventures.
    Of course, the 2009 movie had been one of the first in the industry to utilise 3-D effects. However, in the time since then, trends have changed so quickly that the technology now seems to have been regarded more ancient than avant-garde. 
    This sequel is shot in that same style, requiring the donning of visual-enhancing glasses that were once a requisite at theatres. And it’s so much worth it. Way of Water looks like a billion bucks. And certainly cost as much to produce.
    Right from the first dive into Pandora’s oceans, the lushly luminescent undersea settings and richly chromatic floras and faunas combine to sweep the audience away and immerse it in its vast and vivid, silky smooth water world, creating pure cinematic magic. 
    Cameron unleashes more than a decade of technological advancements on the viewer, resulting in possibly the most immersive film ever experienced, exploding with brilliant hues and fast-moving otherworldly images that rarely fail to dazzle the eyes for any lengthy stretch of this epic. 
    And the action, when it arrives, is thunderingly entertaining. On one side there is the Na’vi navy, astride majestic flying fish dragons, ululating and bristling with spears. On the other, the squad of Earth marines, plus a swaggering, dickish Australian seadog named Scoresby (Brendan Cowell, near-stealing the show with his salty jargon) and an armada of incredible military tech (scuttling crab-submarines, for example).
    What ensues is a sea battle for the ages, a blisteringly exciting meld of live-action elements and visuals, which boggles the brain in all their crystal-sharp, hyper-real resolution. 
    Many of the cast had been given special scuba training for the scenes, such as breath techniques. But given the calibre of the actors (including Sigourney Weaver, Kate Winslet and Michelle Yeoh), it is disappointing at how little opportunity is granted them to fully develop their respective characters. 
    There’s no doubt his production is ultimately more style than substance.
    Way of Water is a timely reminder of what cinema is capable of when it dares to dream big. And that means this is a sequel that truly deserves to be seen, not from the comfort of the couch, but on the biggest screen available. 
    If ever a movie were to be perfectly suited for virtual realities, this is it. Its success might even herald a comeback for those disposable 3-D specs. 

#avatarwayofwater

SANTA ON A SLAY RIDE

 

MOVIE
Violent Night
Director Tommy Wirkola
Review Ray Chan

If you know nothing about the movie, Violent Night sounds to be nothing more than just another lightweight comedy offering to cash in on the annual seasonal demand for yuletide yarns.
    But that really cannot be further from the truth. So far removed from a soppy Hallmark special, this gory, edgy, and sarcastic action flick deserves to be afforded instant cult classic status.
    The man in red is the central character, and we mean the real Father Christmas. Burnt out after having to deliver toys to kids every year, he prefers whisky instead of milk with his cookies, and finds that the magic is gone after so many years of the same old routine.
    Soured old Saint Nick eventually finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time when he visits a wealthy family’s compound on Christmas Eve, stuffing his face with cookies and milk while stumbling through like some thief in the night, only to be accidentally deserted by his herd of reindeer.
    Santa meets Trudy, a young girl in the wealthy Lightstone family, who fully believes in him and the spirit of Noel, even if the others in her family are spoiled and entitled. Her parents, Jason and Linda, are estranged and all Trudy wants is for them to be together again. Her grandmother Gertrude leads the clan with an iron fist, making her kids fight not only for her love but for a piece of their wealthy corporation.
    A gang of mercenaries duly breaks in and takes the Lightstones hostage. Armed with safecracking technology and an armoury of weapons, the bad guys plan to steal money stashed away in the family vaults.
    But there’s a Christmas cracker in the works. Well-planned as they are, the crooks don’t envisage coping with a cross Kriss Kringle in the house, who, with his sack of tricks and encouraged by Trudy, is ready to put up a fight to save the day. He’s got a naughty list full of bad guys and they’re all due for lumps of coal in their stockings.
    The screenplay, by Josh Miller and Patrick Casey, is a cheeky premise that works perfectly as a dark comedy, and director Tommy Wirkola successfully blends conventional festive movie clichés with straight-up action scenes.
    There are obvious homages to other holiday classics like Home Alone, which is executed perhaps even better than the original as Trudy gets the better of a couple of pursuers.
    While the supporting cast all have a natural talent for comedy, it truly is David Harbour who shines as bright as the Star of Bethlehem as he fully embraces the titular role.
    He’s what makes the movie such a pleasure to watch, as he delivers corny catchphrases in his dulcet drawl. And while he doesn’t look like the archetypal jolly fat man, he still exudes an avuncular aura in his bearish physique, albeit more of a grizzly than a teddy.
    The film earns its R-rating with plenty of bloody, creative kills that utilise everything from pointed decorations and tinsel to ice skates. And the film is replete with references to Christmas and puns aplenty (“Season’s beatings”). Even the names of the villains are on brand: the leader is named Scrooge, and some his minions are named Peppermint, Frosty, and Krampus.
    Slightly holding back the manic momentum is the Lightstone family’s squabbling. The members are so unlikeable that there’s no reason to care about them and the danger they’re in, even if it’s all meant to underline how pure of heart Trudy is compared to them.  Better are the moments when we learn more about Santa, his struggles with Mrs Claus, and Ragnarok-esque flashbacks to his past as a legendary Norse warrior.
    Violent Night is a hoot for the adults, but certainly not suited for the youngsters. It’s packed with wanton murder, naughty language, and grisly shenanigans that won’t appeal to everyone, and there is a questionable conclusion in which most of the loathsome victims appear to escape unpunished for their acts of dishonesty.
    This shouldn’t be the last we see of Harbour in this role. It’s a premise built for multiple sequels that could explore Santa’s dark past.
    Hopefully, they make these an annual tradition and give us all something fresh to look forward to amid the jaded seasonal offerings.

#violentnight #universal

A GAY OLD TIME

 

MOVIE

Bros

Director Nicholas Stoller, Bily Eichner
Review Ray Chan

Be prepared for a frantic start to this offering: the first 45 minutes or so of this rom-com are some of the funniest about same-sex shenanigans that this reviewer has seen. The one-liners, jokes and witty observations come so thick and fast that the audience barely has time to settle in with their popcorn and drinks before the guffaws begin.

    Set in New York City, the movie surrounds the aloof, neurotic and observant Bobby Leiber (Billy Eichner), the popular host of a podcast revered by the LGBQT+ community. 

    He perceptively questions why straights keep playing homosexuals in movies, and films that portray gay life as tragic, somewhat realising it’s a mirror of his own: a successful career paired with a lack of romantic interest. Until he meets his polar opposite, that is, the Adonis-like Aaron, a probate attorney who is also as jaded with his lot, desiring instead to be a chocolatier. 

    There is discord and harmony as the two men’s divergent personalities and backgrounds merge, and their bumps on the road to a coupledom will ring true for all kinds of audiences of every sexual proclivity.  

    Director/co-writer Nicholas Stoller adds in some outlandish elements while Eichner, as co-writer, mixes in enough queer humour and insight to please fans and educate others. 

    The ensemble cast is impressive and includes, rightfully so, members of the gay persuasion: Miss Lawrence, Dot-Marie Jones (TV’s Glee), TS Madison and Jim Rash as the habitually disrespected bi-sexual man, with the affable and larger-than-life Guy Branum shining as Bobby’s best friend. 

    At just under two hours, this love shack sags a little in the middle after its knee-slapping first half, but pulls itself together satisfactorily in the end. The film is frequently funny and well-observed in the way it presents a culture that knows it’s different than others and finds ways to apply that specificity on a universal level.

    Eichner is a very perceptive lunatic, the sort that often helm late-night TV talk shows. This hysterical production could be his calling card.

#brosmovie